Sunday, April 5, 2009

Who am I?

I wrote a previous post about how I feel... the logic behind it is not so simple.

I went from one extreme to the other... and in the motions, I skipped over some things I thought weren't important. I am not really going backwards in terms of my faith or how I think, but I do have to review older thought processes and fix the things I skipped over.

With this amazing speaker in town - so much is being thrown in every direction... 
I am listening with my mind and my heart and am struggling to now clear the prior fuzziness. People try to give advice and I get even more confused. 

What I need is to define myself - by myself - in time and I know that is extremely difficult. Part of that is strongly connected to my love of Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior, but part of it is just me.

I was alone for all of 5 seconds this morning and my heart just stopped. I realized that no matter how much I love people, this life is temporary and I need to find my identity in Christ and one that fits here in this life... and it may sound sketchy but I want a middle ground. 

Thats all I ever wanted was a middle ground... and peer pressure isn't helping me find myself. Please keep in mind that I did come from extremes when giving me advice... I want constructive criticism, not more hurt than I already have... but I do want help. 

I am pulling myself apart one piece at a time... all I want to know is

Where do I fit?

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