I used to watch that show thinking of myself as the baby, but I realize that my life isn't going to be a t.v. show to the masses. It's my life. Though someone gave me away, they were trying to do what was best for me. It is hard to think with that view sometimes. It is easier to feel the abandonment, but I have parents and I wasn't really abandoned exactly. She couldn't take care of me and had a life to live... career goals... dreams and ambitions... and from what I understand, she wasn't in love. I was an accident in her life, but I am a blessing in another family's life. I wasn't the unwanted baby in the birthing center. I just didn't have a home immediately when I took my first breath of fresh air - and that's okay.
I've just been thinking a lot about those wounds I never took the time to resolve. Part of me isn't resolved and I am realizing that I can't resolve it. It is part of who I am.
Holding all those babies this past week ... all those little eyes looking up at me ... and then watching the season finale...
It wouldn't be so bad to be in Amy's shoes. She got a blessing. She didn't want it, but she got it... and that came with unconditional love.
What is more amazing than that???
I think I found my weak spot.
Babies.
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