I am getting baptized this Sunday. I am scared to talk it through with my parents. My mom knows, but I am sure my dad will hate me for this. I am taking a huge step in my walk with the Lord. I want to know I have support. I don't want to be reminded of my struggles or how I am still stuck figuring out who likes me as a person or who just wants to be my friend because I have Christ in my heart. I just want to feel like I felt today. Thank God for Thursdays.
Today was perfect. It really doesn't take much for me to say today is another one of those "Best Day Ever" experiences. I saw so many people. The sun was shining. I felt peace today, but also a great excitement. My testimony is officially finished ( 19 drafts later) ... if only I could remove the nerves of reading it in a few days *laugh* ... unlikely, but that wont stop me.
I really do love God. I hope one day my sister will learn to love God as I have. I also pray that my parents (at minimum) understand why I have done this without them. It is for me, and for God. It isn't for anyone else. I also don't want to hurt them. I don't want to hurt anyone. I made sure to word it as best as I could, but it still is hard to be sure of something as sensitive as my testimony.
I want this so badly... and I love my family so much. I pray they forgive me.
I pray for so many things and so many people... but that is the top of my list.
Goodnight.
Rae, i will be praying for you! i am soooo excited for you!!! and I am so happy that we got to have, sorta, breakfest together. I just love seeing your very bubbly, smiling face... Thank You. Thank you, for being you. I love You Rae!!! best friend date soon!!! love!
ReplyDeleteYes... bff date soon.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, I can't be that bubbly all the time. You may hear some things in my testimony that make you think. But I don't want people to treat me differently.
Unless people are going to stop thinking that I am invisible... and ingnoring the fact that I exist. - that would be a nice kind of thinking.
"I wont be quiet anymore"